My mate Joe Chip asks: does Gina Rinehart have ninjas?

by mymatejoechip

Thank you Edgar for your recent post regarding your Politburo of Self.  It got me thinking about relationships, and in particular my relationship with Gina Rinehart, and her relationship with money.

For those of us who are experts on all things Teutonic, her name is itself a poem, bringing to mind images of the beating, bleeding heart of Germany and all it has endured over the past century, but I digress.  Gina Rinehart is a woman of mystery, but more important than that, she is a billionaire, and that is ok with me.  You may be shocked that I say that, given that she represents what is 8th or 9th worst about capitalism.  Comrades, I have had to lecture you before about the contradictions inherent in the system, and being a system as Comrade Edgarberger has recently pointed out, means that I am riven with contradictions.  So there.  Does her money make her attractive.  Yes indeed it does.  (Not as attractive as Kate Bush, but lets not be silly about this, and besides, Kate has a bit of dosh tucked away I’m sure.)  That cannot be helped.  We are all Darwinian creatures, and it is not our fault what attracts us.  Therefore I refuse to be ashamed of my attraction to Gina Rinehart.

The fourth most attractive thing about Mrs Rinehart is that she wants to use her money to change the world.  She is just like me and Edgar Edgarberger, except that (without disclosing too much of our secret identities) we are male and younger and we don’t actually have the money to change the world with.  I have to admit that it is probably no small thing that she wants to change the world in ways we do not like very much, and that probably is not just a detail.

The question I pose is, does Gina Rinehart have ninjas?  I know that if I was a billionaire and wasn’t funding world revolution, I would have ninjas.  My word I would!

And for all you bloggers with all your “Stop Censorship” banners on your sites, don’t worry about that.  Apparently after she finishes buying every media outlet in Australia, Gina is going to buy the internet!  Ha!

I do understand that she has a small team that reads everything that is posted about her on the internet, who prepare a digest for her to, well, digest.  Hi guys, hope you are well.  Could you please reproduce this item in its entirety?  I know her Dad had a loony thing about communists invading Australia, but surely Gina realises that isn’t about to happen.  The Chinese have bought most of the bits of the country that she doesn’t own, so its all sorted.

Hello Gina!  Happy Valentines Day!